My LA bucket list and my photo of the day

There's a new type of carrot on the market...



You don't gotta lie to kick it. You read Pee Led Carrots too... right??????


So I've got less than two weeks in socal, and I'm freaking out. I don't think I am ready to leave, but looks like I've pretty much committed to the Bay now. In order to alleviate some pain, I am inspired to make a bucket list so I can feel as fulfilled as possible before my departure. Here we go:

1. Watch the sunset from Venice beach (DONE)
2. Try at least three more new restaurants, and review them (DONE and in progress)
3. Record at least three video blogs before leaving (2 down, and TODAY)
4. Have a drink at the rooftop bar at the Standard AND jump in the pool (DONE)
5. Party hard at least one more time with my friends (DONE)
6. Purchase Champagne from POP (TODAY)
7. Aimlessly stroll the streets of Pasadena one last time (DONE)
8. Watch another movie by myself at the cheap theater (Will do in SF)
9. Hit up at least two more wine bars in the area (in progress)
10. Find inspiration for my bar (always in progress)
11. Wander around downtown/the west side (DONE)
12. Check out the Getty (maybe today??)
13. Visit my Culver City friends (TODAY)
14. Watch an Ellen Degeneres show (this will be reserved for next time I'm in socal. Couldn't get tickets :( )
15. Too inappropriate for blogspot ;) (DONE x 10)

Do-able? Totally. But I probably won't be doing any major blogging for another couple weeks. Vamos a ver... good night ya'll

Not-so-new in the headlines...

I'm not one to talk about big headliners, especially in the celebrity world, but...

Survey: Why were you shocked that Chris Brown beat Rihanna to a pulp?
A) Because it's CHRIS BROWN, boy wonder
B) Because CB's a celebrity
C) Because he's a youngin
D) Because a woman was beaten, period.
E) All of the above, except for D

Of course I was appalled for reasons A and D... but at the same time, I was thinking, why did it have to be a celebrity for people to finally throw a fit? And how are some people actually saying that Rihanna probably did something to provoke CB to do it?? I mean, really now??? DO PEOPLE REALIZE THAT:

1. One in every four (some stats say three) women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
2. One in three women will have experienced an attempted or completed rape.
3. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by
an intimate partner each year.
4. The majority (73%) of family violence victims are female. Females
were 84% of spousal abuse victims and 86% of abuse victims at
the hands of a boyfriend.
5. The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each
year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health
services
(All taken from credible sources such as the U.S. Department of Justice and the CDC)

... how unfortunate is it that D is definitely not a shocker? How terrifying is it that plenty of my friends will be abused at some point in their lives, and that I ALREADY have friends who have been abused by their partners (ex-partners, I'm proud to say) who seemed absolutely sane and harmless? I didn't even include the statistics on the number of women killed by their boyfriends/spouses every year. Just read a disturbing article about one actually...
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/17/new.york.beheading/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
Let's get one thing straight though, men of all colors, socioecomonic classes, and family backgrounds, commit intimate partner violence.

Nothing new, right? But this shit is real and happening every day. Men also are victims of intimate partner violence too, but I am highlighting female victims/male perpetrators because the numbers are SIGNIFICANTLY higher. Think you know a guy just because he's the "boy next door" or "Mr. Nice Guy"? Think women are equal in this world? It's scary, but guess again... you never really know who is gonna strike until it happens to you or a loved one (if they even have the courage to tell anyone). When we gonna wake up? GO research the "slap on the wrist" consequences that our judicial system hands out for intimate partner violence crimes, and you will never have to question again why another woman is getting beaten/raped/killed at this VERY second.... aaaand this second... aaaand this second...



Can I just end by saying how crappy is it that "Yo (Excuse me miss)" and "No Air" just don't hold up to what it used to be anymore...

R.I.P CB's career of making catchy, cheesy, R&B love songs... at least in my heart. Damn.

And it breaks my heart...

Marissa posted this video on FB, and I felt compelled to pass it on. No doubt, it brought me to tears... turn off my sidebar music, and press play.


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.


Please don't get lost in the distractions of daily life, and lose sight of the fight for love and equality.

Reality Check on V-Day

*Addendum added at the bottom written the morning after ;)

Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and it is my first time in years since I've been single. You're probably thinking to yourself, "Oh girl, don't be a downer...", but you've thought wrong. Although V-day is a fabricated holiday created by some corporate genius (who ripped the story of St. Valentine and doused it in perfume), this is the first year I've actually grown to appreciate Cupid's annual appearance in every shop and restaurant across the nation. Ironic, I know.... Yes, love should be celebrated on any given day, but why be bitter about people wanting to make this day a special occasion of wining, dining, good entertainment, and the red light special ;), especially if it's not in their character to do romantic things?

Let happy people in love be... and be happy that they've found love, people! Maybe my positivity makes you want to sock me real good right now... and I get that... but hear me out. These are my list of reasons why V-day can be a good thing:

1. It stimulates our economy... it is estimated that V-day spending will still amount to roughly 15 BILLION this year. Recession? What's that?
2. It inspires people to do creative, and sometimes embarrassing romantic gestures
3. It is a reminder of who you should be grateful for, whether it's romantic or platonic love
4. It's an excuse to wear a sexy fit and fiery sassy colors, or dark morbid colors if you so choose
5. Chefs add cool rare specials on their menus
6. It's a great day to people watch
7. People tend to be nicer that day
8. MASSIVE candy/chocolate mark downs on February 15th

V-day is a retail brainchild that will never cease to exist, so perhaps it's best to learn how to co-exist. You won't catch me participating in the fanatical V-day craze in my many years of love to come, but I won't knock anyone for taking part either. Romance comes second nature to me and I don't need V-day to give me a boost of inspiration. Though, I have to say that there are pretty damn cool V-day events I wouldn't mind taking a date because it sounds fun as hell and on the unconventional side. Just don't go seeking a date for the sake of having one specifically for V-day... remember, it's the turtle who wins the race...

Need v-day ideas?? Just ask me. I've got a few ideas rolled up my sleeve in both SoCal and NorCal if you're looking to sweep someone off their feet... there's this especially awesome event going on in SF, but you're gonna have to ask me for more details. Need advice for flyin solo?? I have five words for you - a positive 'tude and lube


Addendum (written at 4AM on February 15th):
I don't know how I'm still functioning... Just had a long ass, exhausting shift at the bar serving a bunch of lovey dovey couples in a dress in heels. Not my usual attire for work since standing/walking 9 hours straight in heels is masochistic, but thought I'd take up my own advice from #4 on my V-day list above. Finally, I am off my feet, curled in bed, cozy and warm. :) So because I probably sounded obnoxiously positive, let me add to my post... Celebrating people in love is a wonderful thing even when you're on the outside of love, but I will not deny that V-day is very much singles' awareness day at the same time.

I am happy where I am, but at the end of the day I am reminded of how nice it is to come home from a crazy day (or any day) to a beautiful face waiting to hold you, kiss you, and maybe even rip off your clothes (oops, that's just my imagination getting carried away again)... and have that be the last face you see at the end of the best and worst days, and the first one when you stretch to face the new day. Who ever tells you otherwise is a big fat liar or is too lost in cynicism to realize. Life is about being happy with who you are and where you go/are going in life, but ultimate fulfullment is also very much centered around LOVE and finding someone who knows you inside and out, and still sees you as the most gorgeous creature to ever exist. So when you have exactly "that thang", appreciate that you've got someone who loves unconditionally, hold tight, "make it work" in the wise words of Ne-Yo, and don't screw up. You'll regret later if ya do, guaranteed. No pressure though... And if you don't got "that thang" yet, don't fret because it's comin, in the meantime, be happy for those who have found it and celebrate a great life lived and to be lived. Now those kinds of people are the most irresistible...

If you haven't realized it yet, I am in love with being in love <3, even though Betty is the one who sleeps on the other side of the bed every night... Betty, being my guitar... and no, i'm not joking. For those who have seen Slumdog Millionaire, can I just say that I got a call from a AAA agent named Latika the day I watched the movie? Yet another reason why I know my destiny is written... Good night world... and hellllllloooo Betty

Life Questions Answered in 3.5 Hours

Is being too passionate foolish or an attribute?? Is there ever such a thing as being too passionate? I have always been a believer that you can never be too passionate, but I recently started to doubt my philosophy on living life. Have I been living too dangerously on a whim for the things I feel most passionately about? Lately, I've been telling myself that maybe I should tame it down and play it safe. Then, I saw a movie today, and another one last week... two movies that revived my spirits. When Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal for his late wife Mumtaz Mahal, that was an act of passion, and now this architectural wonder inspires unconditional love in millions of people. When Pablo Neruda wrote some of the most influential poems of the 20th century, that was act of passion, and now his work inspires social change in not only Chileans, but in many revolutionaries. Even though Einstein started off his life with many disappointments and failures, it was his passion for attaining more knowledge and demystifying the world that contributed to his discoveries in science, especially physics. No great life, positive change in the world, piece of art, love story in the history of this world has existed without passion playing a major part. So ask those first two questions again, and I will confidently reply... HELL NAH, there is NEVER such a thing as being too passionate (LIFE LESSON #2).

Let's be realistic though... with passion, comes criticism. People will call you mad, crazy, insane, and yes, foolish at times. Everlasting passion requires strength, courage, rationality, hope, and patience in order to endure. With the euphoria of passion, pain also has to come into contrast at some point. Let's take from Dumas' The Count of Montecristo. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from this book - "There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a [person] who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss." Feeling passionate about life and love is the ultimate bliss... and I am a true believer that because my life has been filled with witnessing and experiencing painful moments, I have been able to experience life and love as deeply, and passionately as I have. No one lives a life without moments of despair and disappointments. Ever been burned by love even when you tried giving it your all? Ever been betrayed by a friend/family member? Ever been rejected by someone/from having something you truly desired? Ever lost someone dear to your heart whether by death, location, or a falling out? Ever had a failed attempt at a job, on a sports team, or in a personal endeavor? Ever lost faith in the world, yourself, or others around you? Ever been angered by the state of the world? Take your scars and turn them back into passion for positive change not vengeance... and without a shadow of doubt, you will do great things for yourself and the world.

I know you're wondering, what damn two movies did Nancy watch??



1) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (no, I am not kidding) -
a movie that inspires a never-ending life and love of art and beauty... a movie about the tragedy of settling for less than your passions... a movie about needing to take risks... a movie about seeing the world and creating irreplaceable travel memories with the ones you love... a movie that inspires you to be passionate about everything you do... a movie about the need to surround yourself by those who inspire you to live to your fullest potential.

Before I reveal the second movie... LIFE LESSON #3: Keep checking things off your " must do list" every day. I had been told to see this particular movie back in November, but I put it off till today... don't do the same... see it today... drumroll......

2) Slumdog Millionaire - a movie about complete and total unconditional familial and romantic love... a movie about the liberation of forgiveness... a movie about redemption... a movie about the power of hope... a movie about the virtue of patience and perseverance... a movie about creating your own destiny but letting destiny pull you by the reigns when intuition beckons... a movie that is so real, heartwrenching, and uplifting all at the same time. This movie took me through my roller coaster of life emotions in one sitting. I literally had my hand over my heart for half the movie.

This renewed sense of self has put me on a high... some may say it was the shot of expresso this morning, but I know this was different. When I walked out of the theater, the world seemed brighter but not blinding like the usual effect of exiting a matinee show. Later, I took a stroll to the post office during the intermission of blogging this entry, and as I opened the door I took in a deep breath of fresh air, smiled, and stepped forward. I'm as corny as it gets, but you know what? It beats being miserable and cynnical... that's fosho. Ask yourself today... what sparks your passions? Then, let go of your pain and fears, mend where needs to be mended, and step forward without turning back.


p.s. If you've read my previous posts, I am pleased to disclose that I have choosen to be an idealist physically on March 4th... but mentally now.

Holdin on for dear life

I met a fascinating man at the bar on Friday, and he came back to chat with me again on Sunday. Sadly, he left today to move permanently to the land down under. Kevin is a humble, well-mannered, but handsome black man in his early 40s. He is married and has a gorgeous son of 18 months. He has such a strong but gentle soul, and is such a positive and honest person. At first, I thought K was trying to hit on me because he kept telling me I was beautiful and had a beautiful, genuine psyche, but I soon realized he was just wanting me to know this about myself. He thought it was important to tell people these kinds of things when you felt it. Although we only talked for less than two hours in those two days, it was clear we had both made an impression on each other. We were alike in character and had very similar philosophies on life and the world... it was eerie. He told me that "when you find someone you've made a deep connection with, hold onto them for dear life" (ND's LIFE LESSON #1). And that really struck a chord with me... so I decided to exhange e-mails with this man I had only known for two hours. Hopefully, I will someday visit K and his family when I travel to Australia. Crazy, huh...

Lately, I've made huge steps in making real connections with people. I've stopped backing away when people get too close... Last night, I hung out after work with two people who are so dear to my heart. We talked about serious and silly things, laughed, cried, drank lots of Champagne, and ate good food well beyond 4am. It was truly one of the most memorable nights of my life... the kinds of moments people should live for... the moments that really matter... the moments that keep my connections to humanity and love alive. It's rare to meet people you want to keep next to your heart all the way to your grave, and Kevin is so right... I am going to hold onto these amazing people for dear life.



Champagne and Tsar Nicoulai caviar... I had to document last night. Wow, seems so bougie, don't it? Oh, the perks of working for a great bar ;)

And if Langston is right...?

I would like to begin by saying that I love my Mom. Have you told people in your life that you love them lately? I love my life, and the people in it... and you know what. I truly love LA/Pasadena too. Who would've seen that one comin, huh? So, it's official. Everyone gets hugs from me today... and I mean real hugs. Not those weak sauce pat you on the back ones, or side hugs... no, not from me. You, mon amie, will get a solid squeeze.

In other news, I would like to take a moment of silence for my xanga account going off the public radar. Xanga will now be my personal, private blog ;) People keep asking me, what's your g-blog gonna be about?? So here's an answer. It's a blog about life, love, food, wine, sex, passion, politics, technology, colons, health, money, living, breathing, making mistakes, growing, life lessons, art, music, culture, travel, humanity, humility, the philosophy of the Simpsons... from the perspective of a 25-year old (i'm more than just a number, but I'll keep it simple). It's about viewing the world as I see it... about my interests... about the essence of who I am. No doubt, I will be wrong, vulgar, corny, and downright ridiculous at times... but hey, "take me as I am... who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me..."

...but if you get bored, feel free to read my old school public postings from 2002-2006. Although sporadic on the postings, there is enough to keep you amused for maybe two hours. I think you'll find a different person those pages in some ways. www.xanga.com/hookdonaesthetix. Peace out xanga... I'm now a true playa in the game of google monopoly. Can I be the pimped out top hat?

Now, let's get to the meat of this cow.... These past few days have been a brain drain. So much to process, so little time. I have to make one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make. Tell me, how much money would it take to convince you to put your dreams on hold? What if that money could help you follow your dreams later? I need to take a plunge in one direction, and I have to decide soon. What will happen to MY dream deferred? I don't want it to dry up like a raisin in the sun. Tell me it ain't so Mister Hughes... tell me it ain't so... I've decided to stay in SoCal for a little longer to better assess my options. Not moving to the Bay as soon as I thought is slightly disappointing, but I made this decision to stay for now because it is what I truly want. Home will always be there, but opportunity to venture comes and goes. How damn fortunate am I to have options, and wonderful ones for that matter? Whoever god is, s/he loves me... that, I know for sure. So, WWYD? No, not yoda... YOU... what would you do? Defer your dreams and make good money in LA, or struggle so that you can live out your dreams in the Bay? Basically, should I be a realist or an idealist at this point in my life? Make the argument... I'm all ears, eyes... head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

Lastly... because I find sexuality incredibly fascinating, I have to tell you about this news article I read yesterday. Pastor Haggard admitted he had sexual relations with yet another man, and he claimed the prostitute he paid for only gave him massages... oh, and Bill Clinton didn't inhale. PH said he is "heterosexual with complications" and is currently seeking counseling for his urges. I'm not one to define sexual preference, but I mean, clearly, this man isn't heterosexual... whatever that means anyway. Ultimately, it's sad to see that he will never be able to come out clean, thus finishing out the rest of his life fighting these natural desires... sucking cock. I'm def no man-hater, but I shuttered just a little when writing that line... yet again reinforcing that indeed, I am a lesbian. Glad we've cleared that one up